While having a conversation with a friend recently, they asked me what I was majoring in, to which I responded as I always have since the end of my freshman year: “I’m double majoring in Computer Science and Film and Media Studies!” They thought this quite amusing for some reason, and when I asked why, they remarked that it was “such a liberal arts college combination.” Although they likely meant this as a passing joke, I found this observation quite interesting, and it got me thinking about how I ended up down this path of study.
Before applying to college (and honestly, even during most of the application process), I had no idea what a liberal arts education looked like. For the longest time, I told everyone that I wanted to study engineering once I got to college. It wasn’t really a choice that was based in anything foundational about myself; it was just something that had seemed interesting to me when I was younger, but I had no basis for how difficult it would be or if I would even like it when I was older. Throughout my high school years, I had also grown into a much more creative and artistic person. As application deadlines grew closer, I became more worried about my choice of schools, wondering if going to a tech-focused school for engineering would limit my opportunities to take varied classes. In many ways, I knew that I didn’t want to be limited to a single field of study, but I was also nervous about changing plans which I thought would be certain forever.
After a lot of deliberation, I finally decided to share my worries with my college counselor, which is really where my Swarthmore journey began. My counselor happened to be a Swarthmore alum, and she was not shy about sharing her glowing remarks about the college. There were several things that immediately caught my attention; the class size was only double that of my high school, there was a vibrant queer community, and perhaps most important to me at the time, they had a reputable engineering program while also offering many other degree tracks. For a high school senior who was questioning everything she had known about her academic passions until that point, the flexibility and overall quality of a Swarthmore education was perhaps the single biggest factor that influenced me to apply.
After enrolling at Swarthmore, I decided to stick with my original plan and attempt to pursue engineering, at least for the one semester. This is where Swarthmore’s pass/fail policy for the first semester really helped me to figure out what I wanted to achieve during my college journey. With the reassurance that all I had to do was pass, I was able to tackle a very rigorous courseload, taking all the classes that make up the core requirements of the engineering major. It didn’t take me long to realize that it wasn’t for me, but I did not feel as though I wasted my time. Not only had I learned that I needed to look elsewhere to discover my true passions, I was also able to fulfill a number of my distribution requirements without having to worry about grades. And just the next semester, when revisiting computer science and taking a film class for the first time, I finally discovered the things that really made me excited to go to class everyday.
Looking back now, as a senior about to graduate with both degrees in hand, I can’t help but laugh a little at how much anxiety I put myself through as a high schooler trying to have it all figured out. If you’re reading this as a prospective student stressing over your own major (or lack thereof), take it from me: you don’t need to walk in with a five-year plan. Sometimes the best thing you can do is give yourself permission to be wrong about what you thought you wanted, and perhaps you’ll discover something even better along the way.
