Where in the World is Josie Ross?

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Map expertly made by Naomi Park ’21

So: Josie Ross. The most prestigious tour guide and admissions intern on campus. Where in the world do you go when you’re looking for such an amazing tour guide and person? Well, one day, I decided to try and find out.

Knowing how involved our fabulous tour guide is in the theater department, I started my search at the Lang Performing Arts Center (LPAC). I searched for her everywhere: in the theater hall, the black box, the dance studios, and up and down the LPAC, but I couldn’t find her anywhere! Next, I decided to search Underhill, our Music and Dance library on campus, thinking she was looking into some sweet new dance moves or some fancy opera music, but she wasn’t there either!

Completely flummoxed, I abandoned the LPAC and Underhill and set my sights on Parrish. Being the incredible Admission Intern that she is, I imagined that she would be on the 3rd floor stuffing some envelopes or helping out around the office. Much to my disappointment, Josie was nowhere to be found, so I thought she might be hanging out with Pepper, the majestic dog that wanders the halls of the admissions office. Once again, Josie was not where I thought she would be.

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Josie and Pepper, photographed by Naomi Park ’21

Knowing about Josie’s true appreciation for the culinary arts, my next guess led me to different places to eat around Swarthmore during the summer, but, still, Josie refused to appear! After traveling all around Swarthmore, going from Nifty Fifties, the Bamboo Bistro, Renato Pizza, the Co-Op, and the Science Center Coffee Bar, I finally got a lead at Essie Mae’s Snack Bar. Apparently, Josie has just left for the track, hoping to work off some of those Essie’s chicken fingers. Unfortunately, by the time I got down to the track, Josie had left!

By that time, it was getting pretty late, and I was missing the presence of the wonderful Josie Ross. While at the track I learned that she had made the journey to the Target at Springfield Mall in order to stock up on seltzer, Oreos, and Flaming Hot Cheetos, so I prepared myself for the trek to Target.

At this point of my search, I shouldn’t have been surprised to find out that Josie, once again, disappeared before I could find her. In addition to not finding Josie, I couldn’t convince anyone to show me security footage of the parking lot, but I guess that’s understandable.

Finally, tired and dejected, I sadly made my way back to the Ashton House—summer housing for admissions interns—realizing that I would not have the pleasure of seeing Josie’s smiling face that day. I trudged up the stairs, accepting my defeat, when I saw the door of Josie’s room cracked open. To my delight, the one and only Josie Ross was safe and sound in her room.

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After a day of tirelessly searching for the highly-esteemed Josie Ross, I succeeded in finally finding her.

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